I'm not sure what's going on in my head at the moment. It's been weeks now since I felt quite right, quite present. I want to be somewhere else all the time. When I'm at work I want to be at home. When I'm at home I want to be going out. When I'm in the car I want to be anywhere else except dealing with traffic. I want to run away. But I don't know where I want to run to.
I feel as if the world is against me. The whole world. Even people who are supposed to be on my side. and yet people have been nice to me. They've asked if I'm OK and they have been concerned about me. Why do I hate them for it. Why do I want to shove their concern back in their faces. Am I having flashbacks to my childhood. Am I feeling like I used to when people looked on me with pity and muttered 'poor thing' behind my back like they thought I couldn't hear them?
20/2/2015
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