If Wishes Were Horses 24

Back at my apartment as I reached up to put the key in the front door a voice from behind startled me. I had heard no-one as I walked up the stairs and had no clue anyone was there until I heard it.

“It won’t work.”  I turned quickly to see who spoke and there stood the Artimis. Tonight it wore a very expensive business suit, clearly designed to impress me, but since I’d found out about glamour I knew that the suit was merely an illusion, like everything else it chose to show me.  The image was much less impressive once I knew the truth. I considered whether I should ignore its presence and I thought carefully. To buy time I turned the key in the lock and the door opened easily.

“It does work – see,” I couldn’t resist implying that life had changed, and that I was no longer powerless against it.

“Are you being deliberately obtuse, Angie? I didn’t mean the door key.” The familiar sarcastic tone was there, all part of the creature’s bluff.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I meant whatever you have done to your home in a misguided attempt to keep me away. It won’t work.”

I had to think quickly about what this could mean. I usually found the creature already in my home when I returned, but today it was outside my flat. What had changed? Perhaps without the pendant it couldn’t actually enter.  If I just walked in through the open door would it have to remain outside? I put it to the test and began to step across my threshold.

The voice turned to pleading. “Listen Angie, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I was having a bad day and I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have shouted. Let me just come in and explain.”

I didn’t understand. Why was it asking to come in rather than just appearing in my lounge?  Then Ami’s words came back to me. The Fae can’t enter a home without an invitation. The Artimis had been able to come and go as it pleased because of my infection, but perhaps since the pendant had gone the power had diminished and it couldn’t actually enter unless I said it could.

“I’m very tired,” I said, “I don’t feel like talking tonight.”

“Oh please! Invite me in and let me make things up to you. You haven’t had a wish for days. You’ve got three left for today. We could talk it over and get you something really wonderful.”

Just then I caught sight of a reddish glow in the corner of the landing and I realised the phoenix was watching over me. Perhaps that was why the Artimis couldn’t enter. I didn’t care why, I was only happy that I might have another night safe from its evil. On the other hand, if I drove it away, what would it do to Minty in exchange?  The red glow shimmered.  Was the phoenix trying to tell me something?

“I don’t want to talk.” The red glow pulsed once. “I don’t want any wishes.” Another pulse. “Go away.” And the glow gave another, wide pulse, convincing me I’d made the right decision.

I saw the creature shrink and noticed that the expensive sheen on its suit had faded somewhat, and creases had appeared in the formerly immaculate cloth.  It stood glaring at me as I continued through the doorway and into my home, closing the door firmly behind me.

“Well done, you made the correct decision,” the glow now appeared ahead of me in the lounge.

“Are you telling me it can’t get in any longer?” I asked the glowing shape.

“It cannot enter while I am present.”

“Well I’m pleased about that, but I am a bit worried about my friend. I think it sent someone to hurt her after it left here last night because it was angry. I don’t want her hurt, but if I’ve thwarted it again who knows what it might do?”

“Your friend is protected. You need not be troubled.”

I should have known the Asterlings wouldn’t allow any harm to come to innocents, but it was hard to believe she’d be OK while I could remember clearly how she looked at work that morning. And something else bothered me.

“If I never come into contact with the Artimis again, how am I ever going to find out its name? I will have to talk to it at some time,” I said to the phoenix.

“That is true, but it would be best for you if the encounter was not in your home. Opportunities will present themselves.  Now rest and be content. All will be well.” And the glow faded gradually away.  

In spite of the phoenix’s instruction to rest, I went straight to the books and opened Professor Sturnus’s tome at the Artimis page. I hoped it would give me some clues about how I would discover the creature’s name, but even though I re-read the words several times I learned nothing new: ‘their names are written upon their bodies in some form, if the sufferer can but reveal the place’.

“Really helpful , Professor,” I said out loud. “How am I supposed to ‘reveal the place’?”

It was a genuine problem if I was ever going to discover my enemy’s name. From what I now knew about glamour I realised the creature’s appearance might change, but what I actually saw each time was its outer skin or shell. The reality didn’t alter, merely my perception of it. So the concept of revealing the place didn’t mean, as I’d first thought, that I had to get it to uncover part of itself.  Unlike real clothes, which could be removed, the creature’s outfits were actually its surface.

“Think Angela,” I told myself. “What does that mean in practice?” Then it hit me.  It was exactly like a wall with a crack in the plaster. It didn’t matter how often you painted it, or what colour, in the wrong light you’d still be able to see the crack. So what I needed was to bathe the Artimis in whatever kind of light would show its name. But what kind of light would that be? Ultra violet? Infra red? Candles? Spotlight? Disco colours?  What I needed was the light of truth, whatever that might be.

I thought over what else I knew about my challenge. The very first time I’d seen the Artimis it looked like a small, hairy animal. I’d been half asleep and not even convinced it was real, so I’d taken very little notice, but if that was its true shape, had its name been clear then? If I could recall a clear image of what I’d seen that afternoon, would I be able to read its name? I didn’t even know if it would be in English. Why would it be in English? I’d heard Ami speak his name in his own language. I couldn’t even think of that as a word, even though he told me it was. So why would this be any different? It might be in Arabic or Hebrew, or Chinese, after all, the marks around the pendant had looked Chinese, that was why I liked the look of it. I love Oriental things and fell immediately for the sinuous, dragon-like pattern, but I can’t read Chinese. What would I do if I saw pictograms but still couldn’t translate them? I’d never be free of this curse.

Far from helping me prepare for my forthcoming challenge, all this thinking had simply depressed me.  I felt completely inadequate to face such a battle. All this was my fault. If I could just keep control of my spending urges I wouldn’t be in this mess, but every time I had a bad day I hit the shops and that’s how I caught the infection in the first place. Now I was sliding further into hopelessness and I couldn’t even take my usual remedy for fear of picking up another curse. I could see no way out of my dilemma and the realisation that the rest of my life might be like this had started to take its toll. I tried telling myself to stop being ridiculous, I wasn’t on my own in the fight, but my inner voice kept telling me that in spite of all the magical characters around me the end battle would be mine alone. And I didn’t think I was up to the task.

Just then I heard a knock at the door and feared the creature had returned. The phoenix told me it couldn’t get back in while he was there, but I could see no glow and I believed I was alone.  I didn’t feel like fighting right now, I didn’t even feel like talking particularly. I just wanted to sit and cry. But there was a second knock and I forced myself to walk to the door and look through the spy hole. Nothing there. Of course not, the Fae can’t be seen through lenses.

“Who is it?” I called, not really wanting to hear the reply.

“It is Ami. May I come in?” I opened the door quickly and gestured for him to cross the threshold.  “Thank you. I may not remain for long, my protection is needed elsewhere, but I understand you are falling into despair. You must not. You must stay strong.”

“That’s all very well for you. You have magic powers and things to protect you but I’ve got nothing but myself to rely on and I’ve brought danger to my friends and I can’t see how I’m going to help them. How can I find out this thing’s name if it’s in Chinese or something?  How will I manage?” and the tears I’d been fending off finally broke through.

Ami spoke quietly and gently. “Angela. I am told you have great courage and inner strength. No-one among the Asterlings doubts you. Why do you doubt yourself?”

“Because I’m useless, that’s why. “

“The phoenix says otherwise, and he is a very wise bird.”

I was still shaking with sobs and Ami very carefully put his arms around me and held me gently. It felt as if a fortress had been constructed around me. Nothing could touch me while he was there, but in the end I knew he wouldn’t be. I had to win this battle for myself.

“Now what is this nonsense about Chinese?”

“The pendant was in Chinese or something like that. I won’t be able to read the thing’s name if it’s written in a foreign language.”

He laughed, and it was like the noise of a woodland stream in spring. He took my shoulders in his hands and looked down into my eyes, almost into my soul. “But you are infected by the creature. That means there is a bond between you. Once you have broken its spell all will be revealed to you. It will not be able to hide behind a foreign language. Now stop crying. This despair is a symptom. Those who are infected may fall into despond, but you must guard against it. You are merely tired because you have already fought greatly against this pest. You have much of which you can be proud. Do not belittle yourself.”

When he spoke I believed him, but I didn’t know how long the confidence would last after he went.  “Can you stay a bit longer?” I asked him, but he shook his head and let go of me.

“I must go. I am needed to protect another. You do not need me here, believe me. You are blessed to have the protection of the phoenix. He is far more powerful than I. Now please allow me to go. I promise it is important.”

So I escorted him to the door and he left. Then I took the phoenix’s advice and went to bed, where I fell almost immediately into a deep sleep.