Saturday, 11 November 2017

Not NaNo 10 November 11

I’m way behind with my writing this week because I’ve been really busy at work and sometimes after you’ve spent hours editing a 14 page document that grew to 28 pages over the space of three days you just don’t feel like anything other than a large gin and tonic when you get home.  Actually it was a grappa or three, but let’s not quibble over alcohol.

A writer’s job is to imbibe. Bck in teh Victorian and earlier times the best writers would all partake of various semi-poisonous substances that inspired visions and feelings of elation. It’s not a new idea for writers to enjoy their recreational drugs. My drug of choice happens to be alcohol. I was a hevy smoker once upon a time and could quite easily type like a mad thing with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of my mouth. You had to develop a kind of squint to stop the smoke getting into the eye above the fag end so you could always recognise other journos in the pub because they all had a sort of lopsided expression and half closed eye.

Actually in your local pub you were almost certain to recognise other journos because you either worked with them or they worked for a rival publication, and you had to know who they are to see what they were up to. Chances are you had already met them in the press gallery at the local court or bench at the local council and you almost always ended up in the pub with them afterwards anyway.  But once in a while you spotted someone with teh giveaway ciggy scowl who you didn’t know and you assumed it was one of the Fleet Street hacks looking for a follow up on something big, juicy and newsy that had happened recently.

Funny how we always referred to it as Fleet Street even after most of the nationals moved to Wapping. The Grauniad was never at Fleet Street anyway, and it didn’t move. Everyone else moved out East and newspapers were never really the same again. It was a sad demise, and it’s gone even further since the heady days of national strikes.  The internet has killed local journalism because nobody wants to wait overnight for their news any more. Where’s the point in waiting for a piece of paper that leaves dark marks on your hands if you can scroll through your phone in front of Strictly It Takes Two and get everything you want to know.

You don’t get the garden parties and the 100th birthdays any more, of course, but I never thought people actually read them anyway. Even if I enjoyed writing about my little old guy who lived to about 106 in the end and insisted on a birthday kiss every year! Deaf as a post but lovely and still had an eye for the ladies.

Whatever, I was in the middle of talking about Sheffield and learning how to be a journalist before I got side tracked. I get side tracked very easily. You might have noticed by now, but I think it’s a symptom of Nano that every word counts, even if it’s junk and completely off topic!

I slowly got to know Sheffield after that first lonely, cold, rainy night at teh bus station and I gradually made a few friends. We were an odd bunch. There were only about 20 of us doing the pre-entry course and we were tagged onto the end of a secretarial college. (Which in itself was part of a technical college) So we weren’t exactly like the other students. We were all under 20 at the start of the course, but I was the oldest in the group. A couple of other had done some sort of gap year but no-one else had messed up a totally different course and worked for a year. So I had a bit more experience of the world than most did.

I remember one lescture where Gerry came in and said: “Right I want you all to imagine you’ve been sent to a cocktail reception to meet a bigwig. What are you going to order?” Most of the group looked blank but I thought for a moment about a bar I used to work in and tentatively said: “Can I have a Manhattan?”

“Sure you can,” came the reply. And Gerry started making mixing motions with his hands before passing me my imaginary glass. “Do you have any idea what’s in it?”

“Not a clue,” I said. and took an imaginary sip.

“Well don’t have too many,” he replied before going on: “Anyone else?”

Of course some clever sausage said: “Can I just have a gin and tonic, please?” which rather took the gilt off my gingerbread, but there you go.

There were other topics I knew nothing about, however, and the locals were much better prepared than I was when it came to finding out about them. This was all taking place in 1975/6 which was a time of great employment upheaval.  There were strikes in many places and the government  was doing its best to destroy the unions.  Some of the biggest arguments were in the mines and steelworks. And it was clear that some of my colleagues would end up working on newspapers in the local areas that had mines and works.  Those in charge of the course were determined to give us as wide an experience of life as possible.

I can remember one of the lecturers telling us: “We don’t want you to be faced with an angry miner who tells you that you can’t possibly understand his plight because you don’t know what it’s like down the pit.  We want you to be able to turn round and say yes you do know because you’ve been down and crawled along the coal face. ”

So that’s what they did. They arranged for us to visit Kiveton Park Colliery near Rotherham, where we met miners and travelled down in the cage with them to the working galleries where we could experience the dark for ourselves. Except it wasn’t dark. Mines are very well lit places, at least near the entrance they are. They took us on a sort of train that carried us deeper underground until we reached the ‘sharp end’ and they showed us quite how narrow some channels were.

You don’t waste time digging out rock if the only bit you want is the seam of coal running through it. So your tunnel is as tall as the seam you’re mining. And they still did mine by hand for the smallest seams back then. Yes, you can send a machine through, but then you waste time and effort sorting out the black gold from the duff rock.  A man – and they were always men – can choose which bits to hew and which to leave behind.

The tunnel we crawled through was about three feet high; apparently not one of the narrowest.  We were led through by one of the miners, who pointed out that he was going first so that we wouldn’t be in his way if anything bad happened!. “I’ll be faster that you in an emergency, that’s a fact, and I’m not going to get trapped down here because you lot can’t crawl quickly!” Thanks pal!

Janet was claustrophobic and really didn’t want to do it. She’d been incredibly brave even to get that far. It was very oppressive to think about the tons and tons of rock above your head. But, bless her, she did it. She asked to be at the back so she could determine how fast she moved, and not be in anyone’s way if she panicked. And she crawled along the face. That’s guts! 

I’d already faced my own challenge in the cage on the way down. I hate lifts, and ones you can see out of so you can watch the walls going up past you are particularly scary to me. Not to mention that the way they prevent everyone suffocating down there is to pull air up through a ventilation shaft so that fresh air goes through the network way below ground. f course all that carbon dioxide has to go somewhere  and it leaves by means of a narrow channel that comes out near the top of the lift shaft. If you breathe it at the wrong moment you don’t get fresh air, you get stale, heavy air that’s laden with old breaths of hard working men. You feel like you’re drowning. We had been warned not to breathe in at that point, but of course I mistimed it and got a lung full of nothing.  

 As you crawl along the face you realise how horribly dark and restricting the place could be if the mechanisms designed to keep you alive broke down for any reason. The lights, for example, don’t penetrate far into a three feet high tube. You have a light on your helmet, of course, so you’re never in the dark entirely, but the view you get when you look up is of the backside of the person in front of you. So you don’t look.  You crawl, facing down, watching your hands reach out one after the other and you are deeply grateful that you don’t have to work down there.  But at least you can say to a striking miner that you do know what his work conditions are like.

Kiveton Park was also a fairly dry mine. Not all of them were. Imagine adding an inch or two of mucky water to crawl through and you really know that you are lucky not to have had to be a miner. And you appreciate every piece of coal you ever burn afterwards.  These days most of the coal in the UK has been mined in Russia or similar places, by machine, and it’s not such a good quality as the shiny black stuff that used to be hewn by hand in Britain. It’s rarely used to heat houses directly, these days. It’s used in power stations to make electricity. It means fewer of us have asthma and similar lung diseases, not to mention the poor sods who wrecked their insides by digging it up for us in the first place!


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